Integrity and Character: Does your date think you have it?
Cheap Date Ideas
He’s WAY more into me than I am into him…
When Do You Change Your Relationship Status?
Have We Lost Our Storytelling Tradition?
Your Attitude Is Keeping You Single
Does Economic Downturn Signal Marriage Downturn?
Online Dating: Eharmony Style
Stop Trying To Change Me!
How To Know When Someone Is “Rebounding”
Looking for a True Partner
Why Didn’t He Call?
Friends Are Awesome!
Then, he decided that, instead of asking me for my contact information (and giving me the option to refuse) when he next ran into me, he’d take it upon himself to track it down. The email he sent REALLY made me uncomfortable to the point of replying forcefully and engaging with APD. Girls need an option to not hand over their contact info. By knowing my first name and city, he was able to track down my last name on facebook (and would have been able to find my address on property tax rolls). With my first and last name, he was able to find an alumni email address for me on the ~10th page of google search results.
Girls – Do this exercise to see how much someone has to know about you (first name, town, dog name) in order to find your full name, address, email, phone number, etc. Change any account settings you need to, and request to have your contact info removed where it’s not needed. And, if you have an unusual first name, use your middle one or a nickname sometimes – e.g. on dating sites…or at the dog park.
Another story – I recently met someone in a bar who was overly interested in my phone. Under the pretense of looking at apps i’d downloaded and playing some game, he went in and requested (from my FB app) to add himself as my friend, unbeknownst to me. Once he’d confirmed on his account, he had access to my contact info. He started calling and texting the next night and really threw me for a loop. When pressed, he claimed that I’d given him my number while drunk… I hadn’t been drinking. Very uncomfortable, and I honestly don’t even think he was ill-intentioned – just not thinking from my perspective, which is probably unduly wary thanks to creepy dog park guy.
Gerry Xydis | April 29, 2009 at 2:00 pm | Reply
I agree with your post.
But I also agree that alot of this ‘uncertainty’ can be a test or a game also.
Truth in point….I was with a few copper buddys by Wrigley Field at night…and my one friend Ang was talking with this one comely female…who would do things like
-sitting at the couches by the windows, and she rests her leg ontop of his. But when he put his arm around her shoulders when he shifted location, she shied away.
I didn’t observe further much after that, but at the end of the night, he dismissed her saying ‘hey, nice meeting you never.’
Cheap Date Ideas
He’s WAY more into me than I am into him…
When Do You Change Your Relationship Status?
Have We Lost Our Storytelling Tradition?
Your Attitude Is Keeping You Single
Does Economic Downturn Signal Marriage Downturn?
Online Dating: Eharmony Style
Stop Trying To Change Me!
How To Know When Someone Is “Rebounding”
Looking for a True Partner
Why Didn’t He Call?
Friends Are Awesome!
Then, he decided that, instead of asking me for my contact information (and giving me the option to refuse) when he next ran into me, he’d take it upon himself to track it down. The email he sent REALLY made me uncomfortable to the point of replying forcefully and engaging with APD. Girls need an option to not hand over their contact info. By knowing my first name and city, he was able to track down my last name on facebook (and would have been able to find my address on property tax rolls). With my first and last name, he was able to find an alumni email address for me on the ~10th page of google search results.
Girls – Do this exercise to see how much someone has to know about you (first name, town, dog name) in order to find your full name, address, email, phone number, etc. Change any account settings you need to, and request to have your contact info removed where it’s not needed. And, if you have an unusual first name, use your middle one or a nickname sometimes – e.g. on dating sites…or at the dog park.
Another story – I recently met someone in a bar who was overly interested in my phone. Under the pretense of looking at apps i’d downloaded and playing some game, he went in and requested (from my FB app) to add himself as my friend, unbeknownst to me. Once he’d confirmed on his account, he had access to my contact info. He started calling and texting the next night and really threw me for a loop. When pressed, he claimed that I’d given him my number while drunk… I hadn’t been drinking. Very uncomfortable, and I honestly don’t even think he was ill-intentioned – just not thinking from my perspective, which is probably unduly wary thanks to creepy dog park guy.
Gerry Xydis | April 29, 2009 at 2:00 pm | Reply
I agree with your post.
But I also agree that alot of this ‘uncertainty’ can be a test or a game also.
Truth in point….I was with a few copper buddys by Wrigley Field at night…and my one friend Ang was talking with this one comely female…who would do things like
-sitting at the couches by the windows, and she rests her leg ontop of his. But when he put his arm around her shoulders when he shifted location, she shied away.
I didn’t observe further much after that, but at the end of the night, he dismissed her saying ‘hey, nice meeting you never.’